My MTV says I’m a Democrat

Dear Barack Obama,
Hi my name is Eric Horst and I am a person who is thinking of voting for you. My roommate, Joe Harrington said I was crazy for supporting you because I’m not a Democrat.

Yeah, that Joe sure is weird; he said I was blindly supporting the Democratic Party because MTV, P-Diddy and that awesome Paris Hilton tells me I should. Well, I talked to our other Roommate, Jake, and he said that Republicans are just a bunch of people that suck and want to blow up the world. I don’t want that, Barack so I’m supporting you.

But I do have some suggestions for your campaign that I think would help me out; First of all, I’m cheap and have complained about paying my taxes for the past month. I work too damn hard at my landscaping job to give taxes to those poor people in the inner city. Joe, that stupid guy, tried playing devils advocate and told me taxes pay for potholes to be filled. Well I can drive around those.

Second of all, I think you should drop this healthcare stuff, because I don’t ever get sick, so I don’t want to be paying for some other guys’ cough medicine (which he’ll probably just abuse anyway).

Next I think you should avoid that talk about increasing taxes on us rich people, because my family owns a farm and we make pretty good money (you got to see this new snow board I got, it’s the same one John Kerry had in 2004, it’s sweet). Raising taxes would suck, so if you could, don’t do it.

I’ll finishing by saying that I hope you can go deer hunting with me this season, because my dad just bought me this new shot gun (it’s my fifth gun) and it can really blow the snot off Bambi.

If you could send an email to my roommate and tell him why he’s an idiot for calling me, of all people, a conservative Republican because I hate taxes, don’t care about equality and love my Remington shotgun. But hey, I got to run because Jon Stewart is on and Joe says I don’t get half the jokes and don’t realize that I could be a Jon Stewart punch line.

-Peace out Barack, and hope to see you in the White House, your No.1 fan, Eric Horst.

This fictional, but truthful, letter was the result of a conversation I had with my roommate Eric while I was watching Hard Ball. I really could care less about who people support in the election because it’s their choice, but too many students on Kent State’s campus are totally oblivious to what the two parties support.

Eric is an obvious Republican who wouldn’t support stricter gun control laws, higher taxes to support more government programs, and although I have never asked him, I bet he’s pro-life.

The only reason I can come up with on why he claims to be a Democrat is because he is always going to side with the popular pick. So many people are excited about Barack Obama, and what he believes that Eric must think he’s a good candidate.

But deep down, Eric, like many other people on the Kent State campus, who don’t know squat about politics or history, will support Hillary Clinton or Obama just because they think it’s cool.

-Joe Harrington